by Have you ever woken up in a cold sweat after a dream about cheating on your partner? If so, you’re not alone. According to a 2022 study by Amerisleep, over 20% of women have had an infidelity dream in the past year. But before you start panicking or feeling guilty, let’s explore what these dreams actually mean. The surprising truth is, they’re likely not about what you think.
According to psychologist Deirdre Leigh Barrett, author of The Committee of Sleep, dreams don’t follow the same rules we do in real life. They often use bizarre or exaggerated scenarios to symbolize deeper, more abstract feelings. This means a dream about being intimate with an ex, a coworker, or even a friend isn’t a secret wish. Instead, it’s more of a metaphorical message from your subconscious.
What Does It All Mean?
So, if cheating dreams aren’t about a hidden desire for someone else, what are they about? Dream analyst Lauri Loewenberg, a member of the International Association for the Study of Dreams (IASD), suggests these dreams are often a “brutally honest reflection of the dynamics within the relationship.”
She explains that cheating in a dream can be a sign of guilt or concern about something in your waking life that is taking time and energy away from your relationship. This could be a new hobby, a demanding job, or even a different kind of distraction. The dream may be your mind’s way of highlighting this imbalance.
Additionally, a lack of passion or excitement in a relationship can also trigger these dreams. The dream’s intense, often negative, feelings can mirror a sense of emotional distance or dissatisfaction. The “cheating” is a metaphor for a part of you or your relationship that feels neglected.
When Your Partner Cheats on You
What about dreams where your partner is the one being unfaithful? Loewenberg says this can be a symbol for feeling like a “third wheel” in your relationship. This is often triggered when your partner is dedicating their time and attention to something other than you, whether it’s their job, a hobby, or even a new friendship. You might feel “cheated” out of the time you want to spend with them, and your dream is simply reflecting that feeling of being left out.
Dreams about cheating on your partner are ‘rarely about sex’ says one expert (Getty Stock Images)
What to Do About It
If these dreams are bothering you, the best thing you can do is talk about them. As Barrett advises, “Talking about things in transparency and in an engaging way is the most helpful thing.”
Open up a conversation with your partner about the feelings the dream brought up, without placing blame. You could say, “I had a dream the other night that made me realize I’ve been feeling a little disconnected from you lately. Can we talk about how we can make more time for each other?”
A study found that 20% of women have dreamed about infidelity in the past year (Getty Stock Images)
Instead of a sign of a bad person or a failing relationship, these dreams are a wake-up call. They can be a unique opportunity to address underlying issues and strengthen your bond.
Resources
- International Association for the Study of Dreams (IASD): A great resource for those interested in understanding dreams.
- Women’s Health Magazine: Check out their article for more insights from Deirdre Barrett and Lauri Loewenberg.
